Improving your vocabulary using MALAPROPISMs

Improving your vocabulary and word choice will help you properly reticulate [sic] your ideas.

I am not incinerating [sic] that any of you lack the consecration [sic] needed to focus on writing good English but I can safely say, without fear of contraception [sic], that poor word choice can reach into all aspects of communications and writing like the giant testicles [sic] of an octopus and ruin the whole effect.

Word choice is not rocket surgery. Mrs Marple [sic] was famous for getting her words wrong; and even I am not inflammable [sic], I do sometimes choose the wrong words.

A good writer will not confuse his propositions [sic] with his compunctions [sic]. If you are, like me, not gifted with a pornographic [sic] memory I recommend that you refer to entomology [sic] dictionaries. They are great suppositories [sic] of information.

If you are using lots of words of more than one syllabus [sic] look for a simpler cinnamon [sic]. Although using a dinasaurus [sic] can be time-consuming, patients [sic] is a virgin [sic] that will replay [sic] you endlessly. There are also pneumatics [sic] to help you remember the right words.

So let me reverberate [sic] by dipping into the literary cannon [sic] of The Rhyme of the Ancient Marinade [sic], and remind you that you shouldn’t let a poor vocabulary be an alcatraz [sic] around your neck. If you keep your feet solidly on terracotta [sic] and focus on improvement the carrot is there at the end of the tunnel [sic]. The pineapple [sic] of success is communicating clearly to your reader – that is the crutch [sic] of the matter.